Dear Person Who Rewrites Nightmares,
Here’s my nightmare. I’m naked and alone at the opening to a very large room. The room, as I am forced to deal with because the wall behind me is moving and pushing me towards the opening, is so large and vast that I can make out distinctly different weather patterns from the solid wall I peer down from, and across towards the other sides, which I can only assume are many miles apart. The opening from where I’m being forced to gaze by the ever-moving wall places me so high up from the floor of the room, that even the miles-apart walls appear closer than the floor. Slowly bouncing in near paused pace, is a beach ball that could not possibly be smaller than the moon. It’s movement is fierce and deliberate, though hardly breaking any speed records, it will clearly be stopped by nothing and it will simply destroy everything in its path. The ball, from my vantage point, is set to ricochet off an object many miles away and then bounce directly at me and destroy me, as the wall behind me pushes me ever closer to the edge of the vast room with no escape. Just when I confirm the ball (as large as the moon) is headed my way, I wake in a terrorized panic dripping with sweat. I’ve had versions of this dream since as long as I can remember. Less frequent now, but every once in awhile it pops up and scares the shit out of me.
See, you woke up to soon. Here’s what happened next: Finding yourself in the room had startled you so much you’d entirely forgotten about the enormous, two-moon-sized dragon you helped last year when you found him with a thorn in his paw. After you removed the thorn with the help of a nearby bulldozer, he clearly told you that all you ever had to do was yell “drago salvum!” and he would come to your aid. Luckily, now, as the ball bounced faster and the walls closed in, you suddenly remembered and shouted the words. At first nothing seemed to happen but then you heard, far off, what sounded way too big to be beating wings. The ceiling of the room suddenly flew away, and a talon punctured the ball in several places. It deflated fast, and then the material seemed to disintegrate. Another, much gentler talon reached down and plucked you, gently, out of the room, and you and the dragon flew into the night. A few mighty flaps of his wings got you well away from the room, and then you were descending. The dragon dropped you and you fell a few feet, landing on top of a strange man who was knocked unconscious in the impact. At first you were worried, but then you saw papers in his hand, and reading them, realized he was a supervillain who had put you in that room because he knew you alone were strong and smart enough to vanquish him. At your request the dragon flew you both to the nearest police station. After the villain was safely locked away (and the cops had loaned you some surprisingly nice clothes out of the lost-and-found) you met your friends at a good restaurant and had a terrific meal, entertaining them with the story.